3-year-old tries to blow out older sister's candles on her 10th birthday, parents squabble over relighting just to pacify him: “I won’t allow my son to be one of those spoiled kids”

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
May 15, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Parenting is no easy task. It's not only incredibly difficult, but it's also forever. The eternal ties to your tethered child keep you in a cyclical spiral until your untimely day of disintegration. When you marry someone and decide to have children, you don't always talk about children or parenting. You may not see eye to eye on parenting. One of you may want to raise your kids with tough love, lots of discipline, and the sense of pride in everything that they do. The other may want to expose their child to the arts and fine culture, to make them educated in sophistication instead of blue collar tasks. Or one may want to raise them with free love, no sense of responsibility, and a lack of consequences in general. It's important that before you get married and have children that the two of you discuss what you actually want from your forever relationships. 

In the story below, the parents argue over parenting. The mom doesn't want her younger son to be spoiled in comparison to her daughter, but the father wants them to get the same things at the same time. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for not letting my husband relight my daughters birthday candles for my 3 y/o to blow out

    Cheezburger Image 10504684800
    via Yuganov Konstantin / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    1 32 F have seen and read plenty of story where spoiled kids have blown out other kids candles or thrown a fit when theyre not allowed to. My husband 35 M apparently has not. Friday was my daughters 10th birthday. The day of i will make them the food of their choice and a small cake, the party is usually at a later date.
    via u/Inside_Bunch_2890
  • 03
    After we ate we got her cake ready and my 3 y/o was very excited. I had explained to him all throughout the day that it was sisters birthday not his so he had to wait for the cake. We lit the candles, sang happy birthday and she blew out the candles.
    via u/Inside_Bunch_2890
  • 04
    This might be where I might have been the a hole. My husband grabbed the lighter and tried to relight them "so the baby can blow them out to". I said "NO. Its daughters Birthday and I refuse to allow my son to be one of those spoiled kids that cant understand
    via u/Inside_Bunch_2890
  • 05
    its not their day". His face fell immediately. He said he was just trying to help and keep the baby happy. We dropped it there.
    via u/Inside_Bunch_2890
  • 06
    or
    via evgenyatamanenko from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    He was kinda quiet the rest of the night. I didnt mean to come off harsh. I just didnt want my daughter to feel like she had to share her day or that it wasnt all about her.
    via u/Inside_Bunch_2890
  • 08
    Budget Computer_... 16h ago NTA. My mom made me wait until I was 12 to have my ears pierced. She had various vague reasons why. All of my friends had them pierced years earlier and wore cute earrings, so for several years I really looked forward to having mine done.
    via u/Budget_Computer_427
  • 09
    On the day of that big birthday, I got called down to the school office--my mom was picking me up to take me to have my ears pierced. I had hyped it up in my mind for weeks beforehand. Mom had my younger sister (8) in tow. I
    via u/Budget_Computer_427
  • 10
    didn't think much of it because it was later in the day and she never let my sister come home to an empty house.
    via u/Budget_Computer_427
  • 11
    Once we got to the place where the piercing would be done, I found out she had made appointments for both of us. Totally ruined my birthday. Why did I have to wait until I was 12, but she could just get them
    via u/Budget_Computer_427
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10504685056
    via luciesindelkova from Lucie Sindelkova / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    whenever? Why did I get my ears pierced as a birthday present, and she got them. pierced just because? I might have forgiven, but that's the kind of thing you don't forget. It also made me dislike my sister for quite some time, although now that I'm an adult I recognize that wasn't her fault at all.
    via u/Budget_Computer_427
  • 14
    Good on you for not spoiling your baby.
    via u/Budget_Computer_427
  • 15
    EnfysMae ⚫ 16h ago I've seen the TikToks where the birthday child gets to blow out their candles and then their younger siblings, and sometimes cousins, get to also blow out the candles. You
    via u/EnfysMae
  • 16
    know what I don't see in those videos? The birthday kid smiling. They look so sad and depressed as they watch kid after kid get to blow out the candles on THEIR birthday cake.
    via u/EnfysMae
  • 17
    Kids need to learn it's not their day. They get their own day where only they get to blow out the candles. They need to let others do the same.
    via u/EnfysMae
  • 18
    It's not “cute” when a younger sibling gets the attention on an older sibling's birthday. It's taking away the specialness of the day from the actual birthday person.
    via u/EnfysMae
  • 19
    shadydelilah 16h ago 3 years old is no longer a baby. It's the perfect age to learn taking turns and that other kids get their own special days. It would turn into a bratty 6 or 7 year old demanding things on their siblings or friends birthdays too
    via u/shadydelilah
  • 20
    No-Accountant3744 • 16h ago NTA this seems to most often happen for the younger siblings only. Post sounds like this was the first time meaning he didn't try relighting at baby's birthday for daughter to also blow out.
    via u/No-Accountant3744
  • 21
    It's important to teach kids to let others have their days. It's also important not to treat siblings differently
    via u/No-Accountant3744

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